There are far more qualified people than I am to speak to the practice of rest. But I am interested in reading this book on the subject: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith.
What I can speak to is how rest restores creativity.
As someone who spent thirty plus hours (after a full time job and after taking care of my kids and dogs and marriage) a week for over ten years, this seems like a strange proclamation. I was a grinder through and through.
You’ve heard about those 10,000 hours popularized by this book-the amount of time required to be an expert in something? I did that. (almost to the minute from the moment I started writing until I was published).
I attended weekly writing classes. I also attended monthly critique groups—up to five at a time when I was in my ‘prime.’ I’m not negging on myself or my process at that time. I was hungry to learn, to improve, to grow. But at some point it got to be so much that I ran out of steam. Sure, COVID-19 shut groups down. But even the virtual meetings became too much.
The Sister Pact was released November of 2015, and shortly after that, The Homecoming, and The Secrets We Bury. Then a break. And It’s My Life. Then….. a very long hiatus. Can you call it a hiatus if it wasn’t your choice?
At the height of my critique group mania I couldn’t imagine not attending, even mourned the groups that dissolved. Critique groups were as much a part of my identity as a writer as anything else.
I even wrote a blog post about how writing is a team sport as evidenced by Matthew Modine’s portrayal of wrestler Louden Swain in Vision Quest. Still one of my favorite movies.
Those years were a fevered rush of pursuing something that felt just out of reach. I hired writing coaches, I went to retreats, workshops, conferences. I got an MFA. All in the pursuit of being better at this writing thing. Craft was the most important part of it for me. Until I sold.
Then it was about selling again.
And again.
And…
You get the idea.
Now, I can’t imagine attending any critique group whether it’s virtual or in person. It’s not that they aren’t beneficial. It’s not that the relationships aren’t amazing. It’s just that my writing now needs more space and less grind. I’ve changed. Life got harder. And then better. And I grew.
When people talk about burn out they usually mean from work or work related efforts. There is a reason that people strive for retirement. Hitting the snooze on your alarm (which it turns out is really worse for your sleep than just getting up the first time) five days a week for forty years doesn’t make you want to keep grinding. It makes you want to quit.
The same is true for writing non stop with no off ramp in sight.
Frenzy doesn’t result in good art. Reflection does.
So now when I look for a workshop or conference, you better be sure I’m going to prioritize ones that build in rest and reflection time.
Understanding your process is self care for a creative
And it should be mandatory. A class in process.
How do I best create? What time of day? Part of he week/month? How long can I work before I feel burnout. What helps my focus? Detracts from it. Can I set myself up for success? Understanding the type of energy required for each act of creation? What are the nuggets I’m searching for in each session.
When a wrestler trains for a match they don’t only train for the match. They build their bodies. Their endurance. Their flexibility. They study films and learn technique. As writers, we do all of the same types of preparation. Only we do most of it in our heads.
So why does movement or repetitive tasks result in breakthroughs on projects when we are stuck? Why do the words flow easily some days while others feel frustratingly unavailable? I don’t know all of the answers, but I am bound and determined to find out.
In the meantime, I am going to honor my body and my brain and my heart. I am going to lean back and let go. I am going to be open and loving and kind to myself, to my writing, to my process. And I am going to rest. As a practice. I hope you’ll join me!
In the meantime. Here is how I am relaxing this week:
My new regime:
Lymphatic Drainage techniques for my face and neck using this
as a guide:
Books!
My I can’t read this book fast enough book: How to Solve Your Own Murder by Kristin Perrin
My I need to ingest this in little bits book: Early Work by Andrew Martin
My I read it every summer book: Lisey’s Story by Stephen King
TV:
I am rewatching Bad Sisters on Apple TV. I couldn’t love this series more. It is so expertly written with a slow build (even from the first episode entitled “The Prick”) with high stakes, sisterly antics, terrible plans that end in disaster. You know who to root for and against. And ‘the prick’ becomes more and more sinister as you go. Plus, I love the theme song “Who by Fire" by Leonard Cohen based on the “Unetanneh Tokef”prayer. Brava!
Just finished The Better Sister on Prime. It’s a terrific mystery and also a great build to the ending which I didn’t guess. There were so many exciting reveals and I loved Jessica Biel’s wardrobe. Bonus! The scenes of the northeast beaches didn’t hurt either and it was great to see Corey Stroll, Elizabeth Banks, and a more mature Matthew Modine than his high school wrestling movie days.
I might also have an announcement!
So be prepared for the spamming of this book here and on my new substack, Cozy is As Cozy Does to be launched shortly!
Until next week, I wish you a process that includes a healthy dose of rest, reset, and play. Let me know how it goes.