Episode 4 When We Gather
When I first started writing, I joined SCBWI and attended critique groups and eventually my first writing conference ever. It was in Miami at a hotel near the airport with a field trip to Books & Books on Miracle Mile. I was in love.
I rode the bus with people I hadn’t met. Ate with people I didn’t know. But I never felt lonely. I knew exactly one other person there, Amanda, who led the critique group I’d attended exactly twice. In the elevator I met the person who wrote two of the books I bought at the bookstore earlier that day. Waiting for June and Players by Joyce Sweeney. I told her she’d kept me up until two am and she owed me a cup of coffee or a night’s sleep.
During the First Books Panel, where attendees who’d gotten published that year spoke about their journeys, I saw Donna Gephart talk about her debut book As If Being 12 3/4 Isn't Bad Enough, My Mother Is Running for President!
I so wanted to be like her one day. I still do.
Among other reasons, she told me she’s currently working at an indie book store. Love that for her! Would love that for me, as well. Here’s the link to that store-
Inkwood Books Can’t you just smell the books?
Of all the things that I got out of those conferences I attended twice yearly for many years and all of those critique groups over the years, the best things have not been the book contracts(although those have been pretty awesome). The best things have been the people. My people.
At that first conference my future writing besties were all in attendance. Steven dos Santos. Jonathan Rosen. Jill Nadler. Linda Marlow. Gail Shepherd. Debbie Reed Fischer. Laen Ghiloni. Faran Fagen. I hadn’t met any of them yet, but they were there.
Thirteen years later and I got to run into some of them at this year’s Books, Art, & Music Festival (BAM) in West Palm Beach, Florida. It’s a really fantastic event where authors sit on panels and interact with readers. I’ve presented at this festival three times and loved it each time. This year, I attended, and I brought my niece with me. It was fun.
But it was something else also. It was so necessary. I don’t remember the last time I was in the room with so many writers. So many readers. So many greats.
There is something about listening to Neal Shusterman talk about his process and you’re thinking, yes, it’s just like that for me, also that makes you feel energized and in love with writing all over again.
For those who know me well I’ve sort of discussed my relationship with writing as if Writing was a person. My person. I said Writing is a bad boyfriend. So many times. And it’s true. Writing demands you empty yourself for the words on the page. That you expose your weaknesses and fears. That you stand before the writing altar, ardent as a pilgrim and you hope. So many things.
You hope the book will sell. You hope the readers will get it. You hope you’ll get to continue to do the thing you love.
So much of writing is out of our hands, but there are so many things that we can control. We say who. We say what type of book. We say when. When are we ready to move on to a different genre or a different audience. A different type of publishing. Like Substack. What a platform. Where we can all gather, like at those conferences.
We can see the glow cast by the person who has news they are not allowed to share. Yet. Behind our keyboards, in our homes, that news can send you places you don’t want to admit. Jealousy is a crippling thing, but it’s also natural. We are all of us striving for the same goal. And when one of us gets it, we feel happy for them, but we also look inward in those anonymous moments. We look at ourselves and we second guess what we’ve accomplished. We pine for what we still want to accomplish. But in person? Someone tells you they have good news, and the energy just floats off them and you feel only one thing—joy. You are your best self. You are happy for them. You feel like things are possible. For everyone.
Let’s face it—this writing life is hard. It can completely suck. But there are moments, aren’t there….when we get the call, when we get the offer, when we see our cover for the first time, or even when we see our friends celebrating their successes and we feel lifted.
This is why we continue to pray at the altar of writing. Why, despite all of our failed attempts, we still appeal to the gods of publishing. We send up our desperate pleas to that place where ideas are born and words are formed. We force ourselves to sit in front of our computers where we plot the books and we write the difficult scenes and we dig as deep as it goes, to our bones, for the words on the page. We cheer our word counts. We set accountability measures. We write and we write and we write. And we hope. We desperately hope that one day we will be the ones at the conference that glows with news and possibilities. Ahhhh can’t you just smell spring blooming. There is no doubt that those moments fill us. They make us feel bought in.
Like when Neal Schusterman signed a book for me-Challenger Deep. I had been on a panel with Neal twice before at this very festival and during one of those years he signed the same book for me, but it was left in my car—the one that blew up in my driveway(a story for another day). There you have it, Florida, proof that books really can be dangerous! Laughing emoji.
For one of my books, It’s My Life, the love interest, Julian, was dyslexic. He couldn’t read or understand emojis because they looked too similar. So Jenna used the words that described them.
Make no mistake, this writing life is hard. It is often hopeless and difficult and sometimes downright gut wrenching. But sometimes it’s good. So damned good. So much better than a non-writing life. It’s good because of the people you get to hang with. Because of your writing friends. The ones who get you in a way few people have ever gotten you before. I love my writing tribe. So much. So so much. And being around some of them in a writing event makes me feel re-energized to the point that maybe I can finally finish the damned demon book I’ve been working on for ages.
Thank you, Writing. You may be a bad boyfriend at times, but even still, along with JKR and the kids, you are the love of my life.
Looking for the love of your life? Have you tried The Strange Fascinations of Noah Hypnotik by David Arnold. I met him during my Spalding MFA program. Such a nice guy and also a terrific writer. Also met at Spalding, Maggie Smith whose memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful killed me, absolutely slayed me. If you need to sob uncontrollably and want to pump your fist to cheer another person on, check it out. As for what to watch now? How about Bridgerton? Loved the first two seasons. Excited to see the Penelope and Collin story line develop.
Until next week where I will get back on track and tell you that story about false beliefs.
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