From Grumpy to Grateful

Simple ways to boost your mood to shift your energy

For those who don’t know me personally, you may be surprised that I can be a bit persnickety. For those who do, I’ll give you a sec to clean up your spit take.

Ok, then.

There are things that bug me. For instance, I don't like when AI adds my name in an email in an ineffective way. I realize it’s an effort to make me feel a connection that is based on limited knowledge of me, but it makes me incredibly angry. I don’t mean author newsletters that I sign up for. I mean other salesy stuff like for products I’d never actually buy.

I hate when people thank me for my patience instead of apologizing for keeping me waiting. Or likewise praise my flexibility when I haven’t been given a choice in an untenable situation. Just tell me the truth. This is the way it has to be. You’re sorry, but there’s no other way. Then I will be fine. I will evaluate and make decisions. I won’t feel manipulated.

There’s no reason not to admit it when. you make a mistake, even if that means I will pay for it in some way. I promise you that I will not hold it against you if you simply apologize and maybe explain instead of trying to talk me into being your cheerleader.

I make so many mistakes that I don’t expect others to be perfect.

But I am trying to be better. We can all do that. Yeah? We can all strive to do better. No matter where our baseline is.

This past weekend, astrologists encouraged us to be open and grateful and allow good things in our lives. That sounds easy, right? I mean who wouldn’t want good things?

Sometimes I don’t. That’s what I’ve discovered. Sometimes I come from a place of defensiveness and fear and that gets in the way of attracting positive things. It was a startling realization that I can be my own worst enemy.

The way I grew up, being one of five jews in my high school, I learned very early to develop a very thick skin. There were incidents. I won’t discuss those here at this moment, but there were some. And those micro aggressions and some outright aggressions taught me to protect myself. In short, to not care what other people thought of me. It was a strength, actually. A gift. In disguise. But it also made me build a wall against the world to the point where I didn’t care what most people thought of me. But the ones I did care about, I cared about immensely. Their opinion mattered. Too much. The same is still true.

Why is this all coming up now, you ask? Because I got a glimpse of something so special that it shook me. I was driving to work (I work in a high school) one morning last week. I saw this boy with super curly hair. He was build kind of like a wrestler-thin but maybe muscly? I don’t know. He carried himself like a sporty guy. He adjusted his hair-kind of damped it down, which was funny to begin with. Then he took the crosswalk walking away from the school. Confusing! Plus, he looked sweet and vulnerable like he was hoping for good things. And he was! Because halfway across the street he met up with a girl with long curly hair. They didn’t hug or hold hands. They simply fell into step next to each other and I could tell they were both really happy to see the other. It struck me. So cute. So endearing. So lovely.

And I remembered one boy in particular who wanted to walk me to class in high school and I hated it. it made me feel exposed. Seen. He was a cute guy, too. A baseball player. He was the first person who told me he loved my writing. I remembered when he’d moved to Crofton-the small town where I grew up, there was buzz. He was coveted. But he was also kind. So why did I bristle against his good intentions? Why did I care what anybody else thought? It shocked me, the memory of putting up that wall.

And I decided right then and there I wanted to be open to love. I want to be open to good things. I want to be unreservedly hopeful. To be willing to receive the bounty of the wide world. To not bristle.

Toward that end this weekend we:

Watched Vision Quest. This movie. So great. A story of a kid who wants to drop two weight classes in wrestling to go against this beast of a state champion who pins people without breaking a sweat. Who trains by carrying a huge log up and down stadium steps. A real monster. Also, not a nice person. Soon the news of Lowden’s quest to beat the monster travels through his school and to the monster himself. It’s a great premise. This kid did not want to do an unimaginable thing like run his first marathon or become president of the United States. No, he had a specific goal. Beat this unbeatable person. Defy the odds. It is glorious. Yes, it has cheesy lines-it’s an 80’s film. Also, some terrible references that do not age well. But I love it. From the best beginning to a movie I’ve ever seen to classic lines. “It’s not the six minutes. It’s what happens in the six minutes.” But even better, it is a kid. Being a kid. Making stupid mistakes. Being goofy. Recommend for those who can overlook the missteps and even the bad acting in parts. Also, a Madonna cameo that is priceless.

Got Jupiter Donuts with the hubs. His order? Boston Cream and raspberry jelly, although the person before me grabbed the last rasperry jelly. He had to settle for blueberry. Jupiter Donuts is a small operation and their hours only go until the donuts sell out. Great strategy. Who wouldn’t want to work only until the donuts sold out. A dream job.

On our way there, we listened to Little Stephen’s Underground Garage on Sirius XM. Which is a splurge that I just can’t quit. Music puts me in such a grateful state and eases me when I am worried. This morning there was a great discussion on the origins of the song Louie, Louie. It made me long for the days of early rock when a battle of the bands seeded the way for this amazing hit. The revision that each band made added to the end result, but all the versions are worth listening to. I told the hubs how I wish I could have been in the clubs listening with the bands as they each did their best to win the audience’s attention. Pure. Love.

Color therapy—Picked a fun color for my manicure. It’s a minty turquoise sort of like this one

Cute, right? Totally cheered me.

Restarted Gilmore Girls. I do this every fall, but I am really rigid about the when of this. I can’t do it until the students return to school. There are all sorts of fan groups out there who discuss this very thing. It’s cool to be part of something so big from the comfort of your own home. Like being at a Gators football game. Only without the drama of driving, parking, sweltering in the stadium, and getting home afterwards. Although I highly recommend both! Go Gators!

I started on my revision for my book Spellbound by Murder. Due March 10,2026. You would make my day if you pre-ordered it by the way. Pre-orders tell the publisher that there is a readership for your book and makes them want to keep publishing you. Thanks in advance for that! I am also secretly working on the next one in the series but don’t tell anyone because it hasn’t been greenlit yet. Still…one can’t always help oneselves, can one? Especially not when writing this series has been so much fun.

There are no reading reccs this week as it was an truly exhausting return to work. Instead of filling my down time with reading or listening to a book, I mostly got flat and watched reruns of Survivor. Yup. Although….I am considering ordering this coobook that I found through Judith Magazine’s Substack. It’s entitled Nosh: Plant-Forward Recipes Celebrating Modern Jewish Cuisine by Micah Siva. Theoretically it would be for my son who is vegan for Rosh Hashannah. But I may actually need one for myself.

Also, I read an article just now by Jordan Cooper in Veg Out Magazine about what eye contact with a passing stranger says about you. In addition to the 8 traits listed, I’d add that you are most probably feeling more grateful than grumpy.

I also did watch this old interview with Bob Dylan on 60 Minutes. I am so committed to this! I wish I could interview him myself, or write something about him with his blessing. Dylan is one of my fixations at present. I don’t know why. These things just come to me sometimes. Like when I was obsessed with the Appalachian Trail for years before writing The Secrets We Bury. I love that writing life has given me this permission to explore things I’m interested in for as long as I’d like.

On the way into work this morning I heard “Overjoyed” by Stevie Wonder and it lifted me. What a great way to start the week!

See you next week, where hopefully I will have a healthy dose of reading and watching recommendations for you.